Bullying, it doesn’t have to continue to impact and effect our lives, to the point where we feel powerless.
Bullying, by definition, means to ‘coerce by threats; intimidate’ – ‘to be difficult and loud’. There is a language normally associated with bullying behaviour, directives issued to another person, such as: you should – you ought to – you have to – you must. Should, ought to, have to, and need to, are all examples of words used to pressure or intimidate others.
We have all argued and raised our voice at some point. Trying to get others to change their mind by saying that we will do, or not do something. It’s part of life. From an early age we’ve all heard and spoken this type of language. We’ve all been coerced or intimidated by others, or, we’ve done it to others at some point in our life.
So why is it some people, maybe you, experience victimisation more often than other people seem to?
It maybe because of a disappointment you had when you were young. There are numerous reasons, here are just a few:
- An unrealistic expectation of yourself or others to be only one sided.
- Unfulfilled and imbalanced social comparisons.
- A belief of a loss without a gain.
- A negative without a positive.
- A challenge without any support.
Having an expectation of others, or yourself, to be always nice not mean, kind not cruel, honest not lie, supportive never challenging, that is, to be only one sided, and for them to live according to your values, or for you to be only one sided and live within their values, sets you up for the ABCD’s of negativity. Feelings of anger and aggression, blame and betrayal, criticism and challenge, despair and depression, and you’ll feel like you’re being bullied.
There are always two sides to the coin.
Learning from your reaction is what builds reactions into wise actions.
Ask yourself what you have learned from your encounter and what alternative actions might be possible in future situations that could be useful.
Get your confidence back from bullying
Geoff Neville – Coach and Mentor
Geoff Neville, is a facilitator trained in The Demartini Method ®. I personally became aware of the benefits of The Demartini Method® in 2007 and from 2008 have been helping people dissolve the emotional trigger/s that brought about the conflict in their lives. I am dedicated to expanding people’s awareness and potential, so they can live more empowered lives.
Geoff Neville is a Holder of Working with Children Check No. WWC0647564E.
Mob: 0438 248 115
Ph: 1300 786 349